PRACTICAL AND EFFECTIVE CHRISTIAN THERAPY
FOR YOU AND FOR YOUR DEAR FAMILY
Rev. José R. Rivera, Retired Ordained Minister and Pastoral Counselor
Presbyterian Church in the United States of America
The fish was the symbol the primitive Christians used to identify themselves. During the times of the great persecutions to kill them, they had to meet by stealth in the forests and catacombs. To identify themselves secretly, they traced in the sand the figure of the fish with its head pointing in the direction where they would meet.
From a security signal which it was in ancient times, the rotating fish turns into the empty cross as a symbol of regeneration to a better life for everyone everywhere.
marriage, the family and the nation
Marriage is the first step in the formation of a family and, consequently, in the creation of a sane and robust society. The family is the axis that holds and moves ahead any country. The man as well as the woman who want to marry must be healthy adults, with sufficient emotional and mental maturity to allow them to form firm, reasonable and morally correct judgments. They must be well acquainted with each other and have compatible temperaments and opinions. They must be totally convinced that they are mutually in love and want to be united in marriage forever. They must understand and agree that by means of the procreation of descendants, both of them, in a special way, and by the grace of God, participate with Him in the process of creation, preservation of the human species and formation of society and the state.
Since love in its genuine sense is the most excellent quality in forming the marriage relationship, and is the unshakeable bond that maintains both spouses united; keeping them together in health and illness, in good times and bad times; it is indispensable that both thoroughly understand what this deep feeling embraces, and both tenderly agree to unreservedly offer true love to the other. In general terms, it is usually said that love is the disinterested, generous, sound care with which a person freely and loyally tries to secure the well-being of another. However, the best definition of love that has ever been given is this one: A person may be able to speak all the languages in the world, but if he or she has no love their speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell. They may be the most captivating speakers; may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; may have all the faith needed to move mountains – but if they have no love, they are nothing. They may have all the money in the world and give away everything they have, even give up their bodies to be burned – but if they have no love, this does them no good. “Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail. Love is eternal. Faith, hope and love will remain forever, but the greatest of these is love. (Adapted from 1 Cor: 13:1 – 8, 13).
From the time of the first Christians, when the Apostle Saint Paul wrote his letter to the then recently organized congregation of Christians in Corinth — the great Greek, cosmopolitan and prosperous city — that brilliant description of love has been the norm that has oriented all those who since then have become disciples of Jesus Christ, on their travel along the frequently winding path of earthly life.
That sublime concept of love has been like a beacon that illuminates the Christians’ way of life. It has been particularly valuable when facing the three specific sources of personal problems that also from very remote times have been recognized to upset our lives and which we frequently do not know how to solve by ourselves. These three ancient sources of personal problems are 1) Powerful invisible forces, 2) Personal vices and 3) Organic diseases. Lately medical science added mental diseases to that list.
Of these four specific sources of personal problems the vices, organic diseases and mental illness are relatively easy to perceive since their detrimental effects are usually noticed as much in the people who suffer them as in other persons and their environs. In addition, the causes of those vices and diseases are usually known. Therefore, they can be medically treated to cure them, to get better or to prevent them.
Nevertheless, with the first source of personal problems – the powerful invisible forces — it is not so. These are a little more difficult to discover. Those forces, in themselves, are not only invisible, but also can be confusedly complex. The harm that they cause can produce a variety of damages to all the members of society and to the community in general. Among those powerful and invisible forces we could count, for example, fretfulness or stress, as this emotional condition caused by the agitation of daily living is commonly being called these days. The agitation of daily living itself also is intangible, but its effects can usually be felt in the personal problems it generates. Anxiety, caused among other things by an unsatisfied desire to have more things than are necessary, is another component factor of the invisible forces that produce personal problems. Excessive love for money (avarice), embezzlement of public funds and, consequently, shortage of effective social services – evils caused by incompetent and dishonest politicians – also produce personal problems, even though they are not physically visible or tangible. Other elements that compose those invisible forces are the lack of compassion and the indifference towards the feelings of others. You probably know and can add to this brief list other factors that compose the powerful invisible forces that cause us personal problems. In summary, intransigent egoism and personal avarice are the two main factors that compose those powerful invisible forces that produce personal problems that sour our existence and get in the way of living our lives in peace and harmony, as God wants.
Seeing these and other similar things continuously happening around us we realize, for example, why the highest rate of suicides in history is happening now. Moreover, now there are more murders and other violent crimes than ever.
At the same time there are twice as many divorces than before. Marriages are dissolved with trivial pretexts during the first few months or still the first few weeks after having been formed. There is an innumerable amount of males and females who live together as couples without the benefit of a blessed marriage; and without the legal protection of the matrimonial and family rights and obligations of each one. These couples do not seem to be concerned about the disastrous effects that such unions doubtlessly cause to them and to the children who are born of those selfish unions. Other dear persons also suffer the consequences of that type of union. Today, libertinism also seems to be advancing at a galloping step. It seems that every day there are more people who want to amuse themselves by doing whatever they desire, ignoring the damage or sufferings that their conduct can cause to other people; particularly to those dear to them. Early adolescence pregnancies are more frequent. Abused children and abandonment of minors; as well as family violence of every sort, happen more frequently than ever before. Immorality virtually seems to be a common and current thing. Machismo and aggressive feminism, its counterpart — and more recently negritude, as a counterpart of the discredited racial bigotry of the supposedly white supremacy — are wrongfully invoked as essential factors of the human personality and conduct, causing serious unforeseeable damages to people, families and the community in general.
In the community where you live, how does the average of those incidents nowadays compare with the average of ten years ago, for example? How many unmarried parents were there before and are now? How many men and women were simply living together in concubinage and how many are today? How many young girls and young boys are now abused and abandoned? How many drug addicts and alcoholics? Is there any connection of these events with the composition of the family; or with family unity or a lack of it?
Think about this! At the time of making this page, statistics say that now there are 55 million girls and boys badly nourished in the world; 25 million more than in previous years! Still more, there are a billion families living in extreme poverty! Half the world’s population! How many are in your community; in your country? What do you say about the minors who are abandoned by their relatives and by society? How many adulteries and marital abuses and family fights and homes destroyed by a variety of pretexts and other crimes of that sort are happening the in the community and the country where you live? Why is it that some countries do not allow these events to be mentioned or these statistics to be published?
As if all this were not enough to weaken the moral and spiritual fiber of a community and nation, exhibitionism also seems to have captured the imagination and lifestyle of many celebrity-obsessed adolescents and young adults of both sexes. This perverted tendency to indecent exposure has not only destroyed the personal integrity of its participants, but has also caused undeserved anguish to their parents, siblings, other family members and friends. Numerous family groups have suffered the harmful consequences of this character deficiency of one or more of its members. Besides depicting a deep-seated lack of moral integrity and self-esteem, this distorted urge to call attention to oneself does not take long to entirely ruin participant’s whole life and capacity to properly develop his or her real God’s given talent. What connection would this type of misery have with the marital status of parents; or with the family having or not having a firm foundation? If our lands now can produce more and better goods than ever; if we are now more civilized; then, why are these things happening?
Al these circumstances impair the formation of a healthy and happy family. They frequently even dissolve in chaos and destroy – often criminally – the marriages and homes hastily established. Consequently, the national integrity as well as the people’s peace and prosperity are horribly disturbed, inasmuch as the existence of sane and robust countries and nations is based on the assembly of well organized families. The more united and happy the families are, the more peaceful and prosperous will be the countries and nations which those families generate. Restating in different terms what has been said before about the family: Marriage is the substance that nourishes the family, the backbone that sustains it, the soul that keeps it alive. Family is the center of gravity that keeps, supports and directs society as well as sane and robust countries and nations as a whole. It is the natural groups of persons who make a nation stay together and move as one in peace, fraternity and good will toward other nations under God. Can social regeneration be accomplished without first completing the internal cleansing of the soul? Is this not essentially done from the beginning in the bosom of the family?
The most efficient and honorable way to reinforce the bonds of family union and conjugal love is the matrimonial commitment made by the bridal couple. This commitment can consequently avoid these evils, or effectively correct them if they ever occur. This has been repeatedly confirmed for many years in the experience of innumerable people and families in many countries.
Is it not true that as long as the souls of both the government officials who direct the affairs of a country and the souls of the citizens who elect them, remain perverted by wickedness and deceit – which are produced by inflexible egoism and personal greed – their consciences will continue being corrupted, and there will be no laws, constitutions, military forces, legal apparatus or scheme of any sort capable of correcting a situation such as is discussed herein, which is so pernicious to the peace and the well-being of the people, the families and society in general? If the family is the foundation of the nation and marriage is the beginning of the family, is it not indispensable then that, in order to have a happy and satisfied family, a prosperous and peaceful country, as well as honest and free citizens, marriage should be based on the highest and most noble moral and spiritual norms known to date?
The marriage commitment and the factors that make it a true Christian love pledge are explained in these pages. Here unmarried persons of all ages and cultures will find a straightforward and easy to understand explanation that will indeed help them to achieve a happy and lasting marriage. Those whose marriages are on the brink of failure for any variety of pretexts will have a chance to learn how to repair the errors that have put their marriage in danger; while those who have been married but failed in their matrimony would learn how to rescue the conjugal happiness that they lost. Doing it like this they will strengthen their own happiness; they will invigorate the happiness of their loved ones, and will fortify the peace and prosperity of their countries, in harmony with the other nations, as God wants and all faithful Christians ardently desire.
May everything in your life work out correctly and you continue happily enjoying God’s abundant blessings.
Annunciation of Jesus Christ’s birth to the shepherds.
While keeping watch over their flocks in the loneliness of the night out in the fields, a heavenly host of angels appeared to the shepherds, praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to all persons of good will.” (Lc. 2:13-14)
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What does this event indicate relative to what is happening around us today? Can there be fellowship in the middle of a crowd; during the clamor of a multitude; in the hustle and bustle of the comings and goings of daily living; in the tumult of daily life in your country? Can God be found in such an environment? On the other hand, is a solitary person alone; an abandoned person helpless? Are you an abandoned person?
For more information that may be of much moral and spiritual value in the management of your life’s personal relations with God, with yourself and with others, check the following links:
http://revjoser.wordpress.com/effective-biblical-counseling-for-you/
http://revjoser.wordpress.com/la-fe-verdadera/
http://revjoser.wordpress.com/relacion-del-cuerpo-con-el-alma/
http://revjoser.wordpress.com/el-compromiso-matrimonial/
http://revjoser.wordpress.com/descripcion-del-compromiso/
http://revjoser.wordpress.com/consejos-cristianos-para-ti/
http://revjoser.wordpress.com/cuentos-que-ilustran-realidades/
http://revjoser.wordpress.com/realidades-que-parecen-cuentos/
http://revjoser.wordpress.com/noticiero-de-la-fe-cristiana-experimental/
http://revjoser.wordpress.com/
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